“He never acts like that for us.” or “We’ve never seen that behavior before!” We’ve all heard it right? That one thing that your child does “just for you”, but no one else – or the other way around? Perhaps it is something said during an IEP meeting, or something a caregiver comments on after your child has spent several hours with them. For years, these comments really upset us.
Finally, and yes it took a long time, we decided that we needed to give ourselves a break. I know how hard we’ve worked with our son. We know “best practices”. We’ve actually raised other children! So, maybe our son does always sit nicely in the back seat with his seatbelt on (and clothes on I might add) when he is in the car with other people, but for us he always manages to get out of the seatbelt and strip off his shirt. Is there a reason? I am sure there is. Have we figured it out? No. Would we give a million dollars to find out why he does this? YES! And have we tried everything possible, including turning around and going home for weeks every time he did it? YES! Has the behavior stopped? No, it hasn’t. Do we still need to transport him places? Yes. So, our solution was to buy a special car seat. Does it work? Yes. Do we get where we need to go safely and on time? Yes. Does our son like it? No. Do we like it? No. Is it the best solution? I don’t know. And I am sure everyone has a different answer to this question. Sometimes, you may not find the “best” solution, but you will find the “right” answer. And I am OK with that. J
Finally, and yes it took a long time, we decided that we needed to give ourselves a break. I know how hard we’ve worked with our son. We know “best practices”. We’ve actually raised other children! So, maybe our son does always sit nicely in the back seat with his seatbelt on (and clothes on I might add) when he is in the car with other people, but for us he always manages to get out of the seatbelt and strip off his shirt. Is there a reason? I am sure there is. Have we figured it out? No. Would we give a million dollars to find out why he does this? YES! And have we tried everything possible, including turning around and going home for weeks every time he did it? YES! Has the behavior stopped? No, it hasn’t. Do we still need to transport him places? Yes. So, our solution was to buy a special car seat. Does it work? Yes. Do we get where we need to go safely and on time? Yes. Does our son like it? No. Do we like it? No. Is it the best solution? I don’t know. And I am sure everyone has a different answer to this question. Sometimes, you may not find the “best” solution, but you will find the “right” answer. And I am OK with that. J
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